things that go bump

Ever wonder what those things are that go ,"bump" in the night? I often lay awake in the early A.M. hours and wonder just such things. I find these early Hrs. to be a good time to reflect on my past, plan for the future, or make a move on my wife. The first two are usually the most rewarding of my choices as my wife does like to sleep . so this is how it came to be that I awoke at 2 a.m. this fine rainey saturday and ended up here on the blog. Back to things that go "bump". I used to have a serious problem with sleep apnea. This is an hereditary, genetic type disiese that affects sleep/breathing. I would wake all night long gasping for air, never really sleeping. deep sleep was lost to me for more than 20 yrs. It wasnt till last year @ christmas that I had the life saving surgery that I had and believe me , It did save my life. I now sleep as most of the ,"Normal" sleepers sleep. But every once in a while I awaken fully and am up from then on. This is one of those times. I hear out of the ordinary noises, things that shouldn't be, they awaken me. Kind of sounds like a Dr. Suesse riddle dont it. So when I wake I think , What was that? go thru the check list in my mind. I know that the young adults who still reside in my home are not the reason I have awoken. I know they locked and dead bolted my door, OOPS, they forgot again, yep, UN-LOCKED!. I guess they dont watch the news, if they did they would nail it shut. Ahh ignorance is bliss. Also it helps to have me to watch out for them and make sure their drunken buts are safe at night. Im pretty sure its the pot that causes the brain to forget to lock a door that had to be un locked to get thru. Makes sense to me, I mean, like 2 or 3 seconds must have passed after the initial checking and unlocking before entry was complete, now thats enough time for anyone with an IQ of say 25 to forget to relock. I can see how that could happen, plus remember we have me to get up come out to the door and lock it , check the house to make sure nobody has entered that doesnt have a key, then try to go back to sleep. Did I mention that I work on Saturdays?, Yep, blue collar all the way, our slave , Dave. off to work with little to no sleep again, Screw him , the old man can handle it! Hes a dick anyhow. Im sure none of these things ever really get said , or are felt but it sounds funny anyhow. So, what went bump? we will never know, But, I can tell you this. I cook one hell of a breakfast and its about time to pull the fried potatoes and crack some eggs. Hmm, Im thinking rye toast, No, muti- grain fresh from the bakery. Even better. Im Dave Brokaw and thahaats the morning report

mall at partridge creek

Well, theve done it again! Theres a new mall at Partridge Creek. For those of you who dont know, I live in Macomb County Michigan. We the residents have allowed yet another mall to be erected in our community. Normally this would be a good thing bringing jobs, tax revenew, new stores with new stuff to buy and all the wholsome goodness these places have to offer. So you are asking yourselves, Whats the down side? Why does Dave dislike the place? First of all, Im an adult male and dont really care to shop, so I dont get real excited about places like that. Second, and more importantly, our community didnot plan for this attraction. They didnot widen the roads, put in the appropriate traffic lights and "Time them properly". Traffic in this area is terrible as it is. I was almost broad sided today I had to swerve into the lane next to me to avoid the impending collision. Meanwhile 4 of our local police were standing in the intersections directing traffic, watching this showing of fine motor vehicle handling that I displayed for all to see. These police were working on a Sunday, double time wages, paid for with my tax dollars so the merchants, shop keeps and parking lot vendors could make money. Why do I have to pay for that? A better question, and on a totaly diffrent subject is, Why do the tax payers in the already cash strapped city of Detroit have to foot the bill for Mayor Kiwammi kilpatricks mistakes to the tune of 8 million dollars. He err's and we pay? why? must be nice to do wrong and have others pay for it. The next time I get a traffic ticket I will just turn it in to the tax payers to cover the cost.What ever, back to the mall. If the county road commission were to actually do something right in this town I;d probably drop dead! they couldnt plan a bike path non the less an efficint road plan. Im starting to doubt that these people ever drive anywhere, probably have a chuffere. Should be fun this winter on the ice, Good Night Im Dave Brokaw and thahaaats how I see it.

brangelina

Why do we have to see these silly sudo names? How about , "TomCat"? we all know its Tom Cruz And Kati Homes. But why do we have to have the blending of the names? I propose we dont use these combos because in everyday life it would probably earn an ass kicking from any real men within ear shot. And by the way why do these super rich celebs like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt feel the need to leave the country to adopt? There are so many poor and improvished children right here in the U.S. Also I see that Brad And Angie have purchased 2 million dollars worth of art! Could have fed a small village in Rowanda with that kind of scratch. At the very least, would have helped a homless shelter to feed and house children who are not fortunate enough to get a benifactor like those two. So the next time you see these bleeding hearts on T.V. saving another child in Africa remember, They dont look out their own front window or in their own home towns, they take your money to a forign country and save them! Kind of feals like a big slap in the face of America to me, Good night im dave brokaw and thahaaats the way i see it

Doctors

I just returned from the dentist and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Why you ask? The wait. How many times have you gone to your scheduled appointment, On Time! only to wait 15/30 minutes? I personally hate that. If , which I don't often, leave work, miss overtime and go, I expect to be seen on time. This is not too much to ask!. I bring my Ins. card, pay my co-pay they bill allot of money and get paid well for their services, so, why not see me on time? Today was one of the rewarding experiences. I was seen on my schedule(after work) I didn't have to wait, they set about performing their dentistry duties immediately. WOW. I will return for my next appointment and hopefully I will receive the same treatment. If I do not, I have a plan. I hope those of you who read this will also follow my example. So here It is, If I am not seen on time, and I'm talking inside of 10 minutes, I will leave, without saying a word, and when I get home I will type out an invoice for my time, at my overtime rate, and mail it out the next day. When they call to see why I left I will explain that as a customer, my time is valuable and not to be taken for granite as I too have a schedule that I must follow in order to effectively run my household and this said schedule, also includes money management which tends to go into cost over runs when I must deviate from it. So, My invoice is a legitimate one and if not paid I will see them in small claims court where we can talk about their business practices. I don't appreciate it when they over book and run at a delay. It cost me money and im not their personal cash cow. Imagine, if you will, you are running a business, providing a service, and you treat your customers with such dis regard. How long would you be in business before you went bust? So lets get together on this and say, "My time is important, If you waste it you pay for it" Im Dave Brokaw And Thaats How I really feel about it. Good night

Night Stands

Night stands are finally done. I think they turned out great. See, workinhomedad.com for the final photos.

A Stomach For It

Why do people find things like puking funny? Or, Farting? I have a theory. I think people find the things that embarrass them the most funny when it happens to others. Take my sister- in -law. She told a story about her son puking in the kitchen, Ordinarily this wouldn't be funny except that she held out her hands in a " cupping manner" caught the puke , then had no idea what to do with it while it was oozing between her fingers. She eventually decided to dump it in the sink. Wise choice. Is that funny? well you would have to know her, which fortunately for you all I do. She is not the type to have anything on her floors, ( a commendable trait) also, shes not the one to reach out and preserve the floors at her own risk of being puked on. So why did she do it? Because it was her child and her floor and her mess to clean and this was the logical choice of quick fixes. Shes also kind of a "prissy-pants" so I find this quite funny!. But lets take farting.Here's a all time funny. Theres the "SBD" We as men particularly love these, they can be lofted and the blame passed on the old phrase, " who ever smelt it delt it" Theres also the, " air biscuit" this is a lingering Fart that gets the next person most unfortunate to walk thru its wake. Then you have the, " hot and now" this is usually a "squeaker" comes out on fire, not much duration but, will evacuate an entire room. LOL!!. For real men theres the Fart of courage, A gas expulsion, usually most necessary, a release in an important environment such as , but not limited to, Monday morning meetings, elevators, weddings, funerals,you get the idea. And lastly, The Fart of all farts, The "Dutch Oven" If you feel particularly courageous and are willing to risk a loss of sex longer than the normal waiting period of a married man, you hold your woman under the blankets till she has no choice but to breath, usually the fart is what we like to call a "SHEET RIPPER" . This is the long extended version of a Fart with an audible expression. If you try this expect not to get laid for quite a while. So the next time you see somebody puking try not to laugh so hard that you cause yourself to, " SHART" and for those of you who dont know, A "SHART" is when you Fart and Shit yourself at the same time. Good Night, Im Dave Brokaw And Thahaaats What Im Thinking

GOP DEBATE

Can you believe it? Another debate is in our future!. Lets look at it for what it really is. 1) A script writing contest for the political graduates from our local universities. 2) No more than a popularity contest 3) A social platform designated by voter preference. Lets look at # 3 . A platform of opinions. The political hopeful decides which topics he/she will back based on what the other parties involved have chosen. This means that regardless of how they really feel on any topic they will back the other side just to garner a vote. Shame full isnt it?. #2 Popularity, Not a most favorable arena to be in but if you have to be lets hope the people like you!. #1 I saved this for last because we have all seen the monitors that our elected officials look at when asked a question. Its the little green square screen on either side of the podium. This allows them to look from side to side like they are really looking around the room to see the expressions on the faces of those who are unfortunate enough to be in the room to witness this disgrace. Imagine , there you are watching them read answers written by last years college graduate! How embarrassing! I'm glad I don't have to see this in person. Then, we, like sheep decide who the best script writer was, then vote accordingly. What a disaster!. Glad I don't do dumb stuff like that in my every day life I'd have to kill myself out of sheer embarrassment,. and rightfully so. So who are we going to vote for? I know, how about the 20 something year old who wrote all the answers we liked?. He/She seemed to know what to say, So, why not just vote for them and forget the popularity contest? its a sham anyhow. That's How I Really Feel, I'M DAVE BROKAW AND , THAHHAAATS THE NEWS. GOOD NIGHT!

Michigan Tax Increases

Well who's shocked? not me. Amazing how they worked so hard up until the last minute. Give me a break!. We all know how it works. First the economy takes a dump, then they say, lets raise taxes on those still working so they can pick up the slack. The "Slack" is spending of funds that don't exist. Did anyone receive an annual cost of living increase? Not me. I bet you don't even know anyone who did. Our politicians do. Have an expense account paid for by your fellow citizens? Nope!. Do you get Recess? like two or three months? No. Can you not show up for work and still get paid? Not! Do you have people on the payroll to do your job for you? remember this payroll comes from tax dollars. Do you over spend to take trips to , say Japan? Again with tax dollars. These inept people who misrepresent you do all these things. If you went to college to be a politician you are probably not qualified to do the job because you are not living in the real world. We who toil endlessly day after day to make our way in the world do-not make $170,000 annually. Also we don't get to vote for our pay raises, we earn them and mostly still don't get one because our employers cant afford to give it. Why, because of all the good things our representatives do for us like NAFTA, For those of you who don't know it stands for, " the north American free trade agreement". Translation, We send our jobs to them, they make money we dont. Thanks again. Does anybody else's ass hurt. Mine sure does. Lets start fixing the budget by trimming governmental waste. First I propose that politicians take a pay cut to minimum wage. Why you ask? because they feel that that is middle class working America. That's what they say. So if its good enough for us its good enough for them too. Second, No more expense paid trips anywhere. We have video conferencing thru the internet, no reason to travel anywhere. They cant afford too, they pissed away all our money so No Travel!. Third, fire all the extra help. They dont need more than one Secretary, and definitely dont need advisers, We are there advisers, we say what they do. They are supposed to do that while we are at work because we dont have time to do it ourselves, thats why we hired them!. Last, If you dont have a real job that you left to go perform this civil service to return to, you suck. These people got to go. Vote them out! All of them, they've been there too long its time for a real job and somebody Else's turn to do their civic duty. Somebody who wants to donate 4 years of there life to the people . then return to your real job. Don't be a looser who trys to protect your job at the peoples expense. If you don't have the stomach to do the right thing, resign and we'll get somebody who will. This is so elementary, and basic, that I have to say, What The Heck Are You Thinking! I'm ready to puke, I got to go, Good night I'm Dave Brokaw and thahaats how I really feel about it.