A Stomach For It

Why do people find things like puking funny? Or, Farting? I have a theory. I think people find the things that embarrass them the most funny when it happens to others. Take my sister- in -law. She told a story about her son puking in the kitchen, Ordinarily this wouldn't be funny except that she held out her hands in a " cupping manner" caught the puke , then had no idea what to do with it while it was oozing between her fingers. She eventually decided to dump it in the sink. Wise choice. Is that funny? well you would have to know her, which fortunately for you all I do. She is not the type to have anything on her floors, ( a commendable trait) also, shes not the one to reach out and preserve the floors at her own risk of being puked on. So why did she do it? Because it was her child and her floor and her mess to clean and this was the logical choice of quick fixes. Shes also kind of a "prissy-pants" so I find this quite funny!. But lets take farting.Here's a all time funny. Theres the "SBD" We as men particularly love these, they can be lofted and the blame passed on the old phrase, " who ever smelt it delt it" Theres also the, " air biscuit" this is a lingering Fart that gets the next person most unfortunate to walk thru its wake. Then you have the, " hot and now" this is usually a "squeaker" comes out on fire, not much duration but, will evacuate an entire room. LOL!!. For real men theres the Fart of courage, A gas expulsion, usually most necessary, a release in an important environment such as , but not limited to, Monday morning meetings, elevators, weddings, funerals,you get the idea. And lastly, The Fart of all farts, The "Dutch Oven" If you feel particularly courageous and are willing to risk a loss of sex longer than the normal waiting period of a married man, you hold your woman under the blankets till she has no choice but to breath, usually the fart is what we like to call a "SHEET RIPPER" . This is the long extended version of a Fart with an audible expression. If you try this expect not to get laid for quite a while. So the next time you see somebody puking try not to laugh so hard that you cause yourself to, " SHART" and for those of you who dont know, A "SHART" is when you Fart and Shit yourself at the same time. Good Night, Im Dave Brokaw And Thahaaats What Im Thinking