things that go bump

Ever wonder what those things are that go ,"bump" in the night? I often lay awake in the early A.M. hours and wonder just such things. I find these early Hrs. to be a good time to reflect on my past, plan for the future, or make a move on my wife. The first two are usually the most rewarding of my choices as my wife does like to sleep . so this is how it came to be that I awoke at 2 a.m. this fine rainey saturday and ended up here on the blog. Back to things that go "bump". I used to have a serious problem with sleep apnea. This is an hereditary, genetic type disiese that affects sleep/breathing. I would wake all night long gasping for air, never really sleeping. deep sleep was lost to me for more than 20 yrs. It wasnt till last year @ christmas that I had the life saving surgery that I had and believe me , It did save my life. I now sleep as most of the ,"Normal" sleepers sleep. But every once in a while I awaken fully and am up from then on. This is one of those times. I hear out of the ordinary noises, things that shouldn't be, they awaken me. Kind of sounds like a Dr. Suesse riddle dont it. So when I wake I think , What was that? go thru the check list in my mind. I know that the young adults who still reside in my home are not the reason I have awoken. I know they locked and dead bolted my door, OOPS, they forgot again, yep, UN-LOCKED!. I guess they dont watch the news, if they did they would nail it shut. Ahh ignorance is bliss. Also it helps to have me to watch out for them and make sure their drunken buts are safe at night. Im pretty sure its the pot that causes the brain to forget to lock a door that had to be un locked to get thru. Makes sense to me, I mean, like 2 or 3 seconds must have passed after the initial checking and unlocking before entry was complete, now thats enough time for anyone with an IQ of say 25 to forget to relock. I can see how that could happen, plus remember we have me to get up come out to the door and lock it , check the house to make sure nobody has entered that doesnt have a key, then try to go back to sleep. Did I mention that I work on Saturdays?, Yep, blue collar all the way, our slave , Dave. off to work with little to no sleep again, Screw him , the old man can handle it! Hes a dick anyhow. Im sure none of these things ever really get said , or are felt but it sounds funny anyhow. So, what went bump? we will never know, But, I can tell you this. I cook one hell of a breakfast and its about time to pull the fried potatoes and crack some eggs. Hmm, Im thinking rye toast, No, muti- grain fresh from the bakery. Even better. Im Dave Brokaw and thahaats the morning report