Sunday, September 30, 2007

mount clemens general

I dont know about you but when ever I go to a hospital I always feel like there giving me the big FU. I drive down a stretch of road that has a billboard that from a distance confirms this feeling. See pics.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bite me

So you liked the story about the wasps huh? Thought it was a bit funny? How many of you out there are the middle child? Sucks dont it. We the under achievers of society, the forgotten few, the looked over ,passed by, beat-up,pushed around 2nd born. Thats right, they should have a club just for us. Our logo could be the , " sign of the looser" Yes Im talking about the letter "L" We could have them tattoed on our forheads so we wouldnt have to stop toiling away at our sub-par jobs, we look , we wink, we know the secret hand shake. Second born, lucky to have survived. Now that thats out of my system let me tell you another story from my youth. It goes like so, When I was three my parents decided that they needed another rum and coke night, kinda like the one that brought me into the world. So they dropped me and my brother Jim ( you all remember him dont you) they dropped us off at my grandmothers, who we called Granny, My Mom has a mean streak and told us to call her that cause it reminded her of the beverly hillbillys and irked her good. So anyhow there we are at grannys and its bed time. Probably early too. So granny puts us to bed and jimbo decides hes gonna bite himself on his arm and blame me, Just board I guess, so he does, then proceeds to cry like a little bitch. Granny storms the room , Jimmmy tells his lie, one of many to come as the years go by, granny takes me into the kitchen and whips my ass with a wooden spoon. Nice huh? Later in life , when im about 11 or so, we are at grannys and she pulls theses stuffed peppers out of the freezer. There wrapped in aluminium foil and freezer burnt. So she wips them in the oven and plops em down in front of us. Now most peoples grandmothers could cook, Not Mine! those things tatsted like PUKE! I couldnt swallow not a bite, kinda like how Butter Milk stops dead. So there i am not eating this swill and my dad is just raving about how good it is, must have been the baccardi, so he makes me sit there till i eat it, which i didnt i sat there all night. After that every time we showed up, Granny would whip out the stuffed peppers, Im sure she was pulling them from the origonal batch -o-crap she had origonaly made some years ago. Sounds like im exagerating? NOT! So as the years have gone by I have honed my skills at cooking and have learned to cook quite well if i do say so myself. Some of my recipies can be viewed at, myrosiecheeks.net, yes thats a cooking site chocked full of recipies. take a look. good night, Im Dave Brokaw and thahaats tha News

Sunday, September 23, 2007

E=MC2

To be square or not to be square. The age 0ld question. Some find that its hip to be square Huey Lewis sure did. Al Einstein felt "E" equaled an MC square. ( Al as us geniuses called him). But, what exactly is "Square"? I think it sort of is like Beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Today during construction of the afore mentioned night stands that Don and I are currently constructing just such a question was posed. We ran into a minor issue during our assembly. Our nightstand was out about 1/8in across the span. Hmmm, what could cause this we asked. A trim here, a sanding here, could this be the reason we asked? Surley two well educated, top notch metal working machinist such as ourselves didnot make any mathamatical errors, did we? No we didnot, the answer was simple. Don's well seasond eye caught the simplest, yet easiest of errors. A squareness issue. I am proud to have observed the judgement and keen eye for construction as I would have trimed the inner shelf and would now be waiting for a new ones glue to dry. I suggest to all you weekend warriors of the wood shop that before you remeasure and cut twice, measure twice and cut once. And if you measure for squareness dont immedietly jump to the conclusion as I did to recut. Often times if you follow the measure twice cut once rule you will find as we did that its not your math but your eye. And if your eye is sharp it will save you alot of misery. Good night, Im Dave Brokaw and Thahaats the News.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

wood working

Well here we are , another fine Sat. evening. Don and I worked on my night stands again. The whole project is coming along nicely. I think we will be doing some assembly work tommorow, ( yes we work on Sundays) You can check out our progress by visitin Dons site at, http://workinhomedad.com. We took action Photos today of our mock-up assembly. My wife is going to have to approve the stain before we get that far. She did pick it out and we are showing her the diffrence between 1 and 2 coatings. So I have no chance of doing that part wrong. I was able to learn quite a bit today about routering radiuses It is not as hard as you might think but you do have to be carefull to exercise the proper cautions when doing so or you may just end up missing a finger. Sorry all you humor seakers, all buisness today. Good night ,Im Dave Brokaw And Thahaats tha news

Thursday, September 20, 2007

BAH, What is it ?

Take some of the terms used in todays society like , "sick" ever hear sombody say that? it means good. "Bad" it also means good. These terms go on and on. I have a self coined term BAH. BAH means, , " Bleeding Ass Hot" I have to say, I have a weakness for spicey foods. Tai food is one of my favorites. However it is not where I came up with BAH. I like to make and eat hot wings. Now I know some of you are laughing right now so pay attention and I will teach you a little something I have learned to cook. First, start with Tyson wings of fire, I said to stop laughing, Then open the bag ( shocker there) pour in a liberal amount of Tai hot sauce, I like to use the stuff they sell it comes in a squeeze bottle and has all Asian writing on it, so I dont know what it says but if you cant get that get some of Daves insanity sauce, It can be found about anywhere they sell the stuff. If your a little weak, just use tabasco, though the flavor isnt as good. Then add Barbque sauce about a cup and a half. Close the bag, make sure it re-sealed. Then commence to squeezing and needing. For those of you who dont know, " needing is a bakers term for mashing and handling", oh just look it up already! So were squeezing the wings till they are all seperated, by this time they should be well coated with BBQ sauce and hot stuff. I hope you remembered to light the grill while this was happening. I use charcoal with hickory. I put the coals all on one side and dump the wings on the other, close the lid and let them smoke. Cook them untill they are all defrosted , ( yes we put them on frozen ) once they are warm and defrosted , about 30 minuits, move over the coals. Now you must stay there and tend the BBQ. I use a squirt bottle with hot sauce and BBQ sauce mixed. I like Moe Prichards BBQ sauce right now but mostly its Open Pit. I use the squirt bottle because i dont like the brush hairs that invaribley come off and end up on my food, plus you can controll it better. You can get bottles like I have at the dollar store there the kind that you put catsup and mustard in with the white tops and cap.Once the wings start to get a char going start adding your BBQ sauce combo untill you get them cook to your satisfaction, This will give you BAH wings that will not only impress your friends, but will make your wife sleep on the couch after you wash it all down with a couple of cold ones. I usually like to eat stuff like this and Tai food on thursdays that way when im golfing on friday and swilling more beers I have a bad ass case of monkey butt, or commonly known as," Swamp Ass" this tends to make a pasty sort of peanut buttery cheese shit that sort of drags across the hemeroids like a Man-O-War jellyfish. It will produce an ungodly burn and give off noxious emissions that even outside will impress the most seasond warrior of the links. Also good for football Sunday. Hope this will help you BBQ buffs. If anyone has any BBQ tips theyd like to share I would be happy to hear from you. That is all I have tonight. Its time to go. Litterally, Im going to destroy that furgison, Thank god we dont still use out houses, Good night,Im Dave Brokaw and Thahaats the News

Monday, September 17, 2007

Funny names

Ever notice how some people have those names that just work with anything? I work with just such an individual. His name sounds somthing like, " Im going to spell this phonetically" Buggar-Really. I started a list once just to see how many diffrent concocktions i could come up with. I can tell you after the page," yellow legal" was filled on both sides I decided to stop. The afor mentioned, not yet, but to be famous, Don Cross of the," Wood Working with Don Cross" Can attest to the fact that I did fill both sides with funny acronyms such as but not limited to, shit dick arreally, fuck stick arreally, short on ambitionareally,bald fuckareally, dumbfuckarreally, you can see where im going with this. So, It should come as no supprise that when he announced his pending camping/ hiking trip, I came up with, ( now all you Homos calm down, I dont care what you do so long as nobodys getting hurt. O.K.?) so anyhow as I was saying I came up with , " BrokeBackArreally" Now most people would find this ammusing to say the least however it sure seemed to touch on a sour note with the little fag fuckarreally. So against all things I personally hold sacride, like a good Jokearreally, Im a really going to stop the make funarreallying and call it a day, good night, Im Dave Brokaw and thahaaats thah news.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

urinals

Whats up with men who dont use a urinal? I work with an individual whose name I will change to, "B.T." This B.T will use a toilet every time. Why? I have a theory. If when young, say high school, and you are of less than average hight, the bigger kids will shove you into a urinal. They have also been known to give the occasional dreaded " swirly" I never gave or got one but it must be humiliating to say the least. However having said that, nobody at work would do such a thing. So wouldnt it seem plausable that adulthood would be a good time to step up and give it a try, feel like a man at last, let it hang out, piss standing up. I often, when using the mens room, wonder if I mistakenly enterd the ladies room, when I hear the piss streem hit the bowl. Also somthing else that gets my goat is the fact that there will be "Piddle" on the seat and floor. Whos supposed to clean that? If I wanted to be a janitor Id have gotten a job as one. I hear it pays well and the rewards are many. So men, lets stand tall and remember, Shake it easy. And thahaats the news. Im Dave Brokaw, Goodnight

Monday, September 10, 2007

wood working

Not many people ever delve into the depths of wood working. I used to be afraid myself. I however have made my living as a machinist, and that has helped me make a fair move into this fine art. I also happen to be lucky enough to work with Don Cross. For those of you who arnot yet familier with his site, ( Wood Working With Don Cross) let me enlighten. Don is not only an excelent machinist in his own right he also is a fine craftsman in the art of wood working. This is a subject which I intend to not only discuss frequently but will also be posting pics of projects completed aswell as current projects in the works. Please visit Don @ his site, " wood working with don cross" as he hosts an open question and answer forum were we will be happy to explain what it is we are doing and hopfully we can all begin to make quality furniture for ourselves. Lets face it, its less expensive, better quality, and just plain fun to do. As soon as possible I will have a tab here and you will be able to jump over. In the mean time, take a look and say hi. See you all later, Dave And thahaats the news with dave brokaw.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Headline news

I live in Michigan. This state has horrible umemployment. Whats up with all the low paying jobs? How are the people supposed to get by? Life in general is getting harder by the minuit. Whos tha ass that decided we need to spend billions of dollars over seas when we have Americans who cant pay their bills? Children in my own town who go to bed at night hungry, arnt going to get a christmas present, only have one parent at home. Its a sad state of affairs when forign affairs are more important to our elected representatives than our own people. Lets fire them all by getting out and voting. I personally use this formula, if there in vote them out. get some one new. The polticians who went to college and took political science went to school to get a job where they can vote for their own pay raises, must be fuckin nice huh? i wish i could do that, instead what they do is exploit our tax dollars to fuck us out of work, they do this why? must be the pay offs because it dammed sure aint in our best intrest. and thahaats tha news

Wasps hate them


Description

Heres my story, This is a true story, I will have a new one every week. If you find them entertaining and want to make a cash donation to my cause, Via Paypal, Thanks. If not thats ok too. First I want to say that my life has been full of minor mishaps, nothing that hurt to much or maimed me in any way. Mostly there kinda funny in a sad sort of way. So here we go, story number 2. I was just 4 yrs old and my brother (Jim) said," Hey Dave, you want to play with me and Scott". Scott was our neighbor. Being just 4 and finally invited to play was better than anything I could hope for. My older brother wanted me to play!. What a day . I was going to be able to go where he did without my Mom. My brother was 7 and had free run of the neighborhood and surrounding fields. We lived in south eastern Michigan and it was late August mabey even early September. So my Mother said I could go and off we went. They in the lead, me in tow. I was trying to hear what they were talking about but couldnt understand what it was, see I had never heard of a "nest" but it sounded neet to me. Kind of rolls off the tongue dont it?. Any how we were way out in the field and thats when Jim said, Hey Dave, think that T.V. over there works? I was one of the more fortunant kids when I was young. My parents were always buying nice things like new cars that somehow got repainted in the driveway, (a story I promise to tell later) and a color television which I spent most of my afternoons watching while my brother was out living the good life. So as you can expect I knew how to see if it worked, All I had to do was turn it on. Sounded good to me , so off I went, making sure to avoid the mudd which there was quite a bit but I got there eventually and as I reached the T.V. and reached for the knob , I heard the hum, but it didnt sound quite right and as i was reaching for it i heard the first rock hit. You see my brother and his buddy had been there before and knew I was too dumb to know about hornets. So any how 2 or 3 rocks probably hit there mark, and the hornets came after me . The first one landed above my left eye and set to stinging the hell out of me. I had no Idea what was going on I just heard Jim yelling , RUN so I was wipping at the wasp and running, staight into the mudd. my shoe came off, I fell, my hands were covered with mudd, i was swatting and trying to run, wiping mudd in my eyes, tears streaming down my face one shoe gone and gettting the shit stung out of me. The sight of it all must have sunk in on Jim and Scott because they were running too, only not home but down the street. I made a bee line ( no punn intended) for home. My Mother freaked out, was wiping the mudd off of my face when she started to realize that i had been stung. Not once or twice but 12 or more Nobody exactly remembers the official count however my cloths were ripped from me on the spot to get the hornets under my shirt and in my pants.By now the girls from next door were there with their mother, ( they used to remind me all the time that they saw me naked) and it was hospital time, again. Not fun. My brother, He got lucky. I was so naive, I didnt really realize what had happend and he wasnt saying much. Told some lame story about the field and the T.V. and how they told me to run when they saw the hornets and actually came out sounding like he helped. Probably got an, " atta-boy" from my Dad. Meanwhile, I was sick from the poison, in a lot of pain, and sitting , alone, infront of my television. No hornets. Funny thing though, Ive been attacked by wasp and bees and hornets all of my life and ive only been stung once seince then, and it was on the hand. So I think I must have paid my dues long ago. See you next week, Dave